Tulip Bacon Grill, why eat bacon when you can eat fried luncheon meat

Sometimes it is hard to see how some food products I review, have any market for them whatsoever. Tulip’s Bacon Grill is one of them. What is is meant to be? a substitute for real bacon in a breakfast if the graphics on the pot are anything to go by? I love bacon as much as this kid, so it would have to be extremely good to replace the rashers I normally buy. I’ve just thought of a use for it, storing in a survivalists shelter instead of real bacon, since I bought this from an unrefrigerated shelf with a eye watering long use by date.

Tulip Bacon Grill SludgeAfter pinging of the top lid and ripping off the top foil, I was immediately hit by them smell of a nasty luncheon meat variant, which this obviously is. Just take a look at that lovely fatty sweaty sheen the ‘meat’ has in that grey plastic tub, doesn’t that just get you salivating already? Looking at the tub, it gives you heating instructions that consist of slicing the meat and grilling or frying it for 3 minutes each side. I didn’t fancy doing that and since the lid says it is ready to eat, i thought i’d eat it like a man would when facing the break down of society as we know it. I dug the lump of congealed mechanically recovered meat out of the tub with a big knife and sliced off a bit to ingest some emergency calories.

Tulip Bacon Grill LumpSo what does it taste like? A very strong luncheon meat with a bonus of an extra synthetic flavour which is vaguely smokey. There is no texture as you would expect from meat mush held together by fat. In my view it is even more vile than standard luncheon meat and makes Billy Bear seem quite palatable. After two bites, I could not eat any more. I placed the remains back in the resealable pot, not keep it but it’s bin night and it might stop the badgers in our area smelling this when it goes in a black bag and in the bin. As for our cat, he’s usually at my feet as soon as he smells anything meat based. He was nowhere to be seen. That speaks volumes.

Appearance: 3/10
Taste: 2/10
Value: 1/10
Overall: 6/30

Wm Morrison Supermarkets plc
Tulip Ltd
£1.00 (Normally £1.69, the same price as a 300g pack of value bacon rashers)