Tillman’s Toast Me! Revolting savoury Pop-Tart type things

There’s one thing that irritates me more and more. I don’t know if it’s because I’m becoming a middle aged grumpy old git, but over-familiar blurb on packaging really irks me. The worst example being Innocent Smoothies, with it’s ‘drink me, I’m great’ type first person nonsense. This product can be forgiven for its chummy title, but the bullshit continues on the back of the packet with the opening salvo ‘Most of us love breakfast but often we don’t have the time to prepare it or can’t be bothered! Hey…don’t Panic!’. Well first of all Tillman’s, I like breakfast, I don’t love it and not having enough time to prepare breakfast is not going to make me panic… on any level. As for your statement, I’m sure it is because people really can’t be arsed to prepare anything, that would lead them to actually consider eating what amounts to a savoury pop tart.

Tillman's Toast Me! Bacon & Egg All Day BreakfastGetting one out of the packet, there was a vague savoury smell, one that was not particularly appetising mainly because it was completely unidentifiable apart from being savoury. Unlike most of the products I purchase for review, this one has multiple ways you can ‘cook’ it. You can microwave it, you can put it in a preheated oven, or my favourite ‘Place deep frozen Tillman’s Toast Me! in a frying pan at a medium heat for approx. 3 minutes. Turn regularly or simply just thaw and enjoy cold’. Enjoy cold? That’s the way I like my bacon and egg! However, the primary ‘cooking’ method was toasting so I decided to take Tillman’s advice from the packaging again ‘place in your toaster; and it’s ready before you know it…relax and enjoy…or eat one on the run! Yum Yum!’. After being patronised as if I was a toddler, I decided to relax and try and enjoy my Toast Me!

Tillman's Toast Me! Bacon & Egg All Day Breakfast, cookedThe Toast Me! popped out of the toaster with fat bubbling on the outside. My immediate thought was, f**k I’m going to have to clean the bloody toaster now. Taking my first bite, the outside coating tastes just like the coating on a fish finger. The egg was tasteless and for this bite, didn’t contain any bacon, so you could imagine eating a fish finger. It wasn’t until my third bite that I came across something that had a very artificial bacon flavour (even though it was apparently real bacon). The texture and crunch of the Toast Me! is OK, but the filling is not that pleasant at all. After eating one, my thought was, I’d rather have a simple slice of buttered toast, that’s how bland it is. Looking at the packaging again, Tillman’s offer a Breakfast Tip, ‘Delicious dipped in your favourite ketchup! Fancy another one?’. No thank you.

Appearance: 4/10
Taste: 3/10
Value: 3/10
Overall: 10/30

Wm Morrison Supermarkets plc
Tillman’s UK
£1.00 (normally £1.39)