Iceland Hoisin Duck Christmas Trees
Written by The Human Dustbin and posted in Food, Frozen

It’s not even December yet, but as you probably know it is Christmas already in retail land. As all shite food aficionados know, this special time of the year heralds the return of Iceland’s Christmas food range. Last year we had a bizarre prawn spoon concoction, this year we have Hoisin Duck Christmas Trees. When I think of Christmas, I naturally think of Chinese food, so I could not wait to get my hands on a packet, even though they are twice my normal product budget (what the hell, it is Christmas and these are ‘Luxury’).

Iceland Hoisin Duck Christmas Trees PacketGetting the packet open, you can see that these Christmas Trees are just mini-mini Duck samosas skewered with a satay stick. The Iceland TV advert clearly shows at least one kiddywink munching a Christmas Tree, which is probably an accident waiting to happen. If a child has been brought up on Iceland fare, I can’t really see Hoisin being palatable in any way for the little cherubs. Seeing how many you get, it looks like quite a good deal until you read the label and find out these mini-mini samosas contain just 12% Duck.

Iceland Hoisin Duck Christmas Trees CookedIt packet also states that they were produced and packed in Thailand and given the size of these mini-mini samosas and the satay stick being shoved through them by hand, I thought ‘child labour’. I then castigated myself for such a reactionary borderline racist view and assured myself that Iceland would definitely not use child labour, but if they did, their average customer could not give less of a shit anyway. Without any further procrastination, I lit the oven and preheated it to gas mark 7, then gave the Christmas Trees 6 minutes on each side on the top shelf. What not Microwaving? Not with these.

Iceland Hoisin Duck Christmas Trees Mini-miniSo what do they taste like? The answer to that is not too bad at all and probably the best thing I’ve tasted so far, but for £3, they should be. I munched my way through 3 Christmas Trees, trying to bite into a piece of identifiable Duck without success, but given there size and you only get 12% Duck in each, that is understandable (Note: My thumb should give you a sense of size in this picture and bare in mind that I have little lady mitts according to my partner not manly sausage fingers). After 3 Trees I had also hit the grease wall with my entire palette being coated. Would I buy these again, maybe if the were just vegetable and less greasy, yes.

Appearance: 6/10
Taste: 6/10
Value: 5/10
Overall: 17/30

Iceland Foods Ltd
Iceland Foods Ltd


Thanks to Kenny for this: