Written by The Human Dustbin and posted in Food, Frozen, Microwaveable Snacks

Iceland Ultimate Snacks Sausage & Egg MuffinPeriodically I browse the Iceland website for new delights to test for my loyal readers. Discovering the new ‘Ultimate Snacks’ range I was rather upset that most fell outside of the price rules. However, there were some that retailed for just one-pound sterling. I needed no more encouragement. Before starting the review, I searched the Oxford English Dictionary online to see the official definition of the word ‘Ultimate’ and how it would relate to this snack. The OED describes it as ‘being the best or most extreme example of its kind’. This was really going to be a taste sensation, I thought to myself.

Iceland Ultimate Snacks Sausage & Egg Muffin MicrowavingHowever, getting it out of the box, it became rapidly apparent that Iceland and I do not see eye to eye on semantics. It looked just like every other frozen burger thing I’ve tried. It was time to get cooking, well microwaving. Unlike the other burger things I’ve tried, you have to strip off all the packaging and disassemble the muffin to begin the nuking process. First you have to microwave the sausage and egg for 2 minutes. One of the basics of cooking is that ingredients cooked together that are different in size and/or different in density, means you are probably heading for a fuck up. Just bare this in mind. After microwaving the sausage and egg, you then have to reassemble everything with the muffin still frozen and microwave the whole lot again for a minute and a half. While letting the muffin cool slightly, I flipped it over, to assure the side that was plate down during nuking was not soggy (see what I’ve learnt, a valuable life skill).

Iceland Ultimate Snacks Sausage & Egg Muffin TasteIt was time to taste the Ultimate Sausage and Egg muffin! To gauge how ultimate this ultimate sausage and egg muffin really was, I judged it against the only other Sausage and Egg muffin I’ve ever eaten, the McDonalds McMuffin™ (yes, I’m not proud), which for this purpose, I will consider ‘Muffin Neutral’. Taking my first bite, the muffin was hot, the sausage hot, but the egg was volcanic, making me spit out my first bite before I took the roof of my mouth off. Allowing the egg to cool to an edible temperature, the other ingredients were getting tepid. Taking my first real bite, far from being blown away with Ultimate muffin goodness, my taste buds sent back a signal of indifferent ennui to my brain. The sausage had a vague Lincolnshire sausage taste, the egg was tasteless along with the muffin itself. Even sampling the ingredients separately, I found no more to report on. Iceland lied, it wasn’t the Ultimate Sausage and Egg Muffin, it didn’t even come close to a McMuffin, making it worse than ‘Muffin Neutral’. Iceland say on their website that by purchasing this item you can beat the lunchtime queues. Well frankly I’d rather queue at my local McDonalds and take the shame and self loathing that comes with that, than buy one of these again.

Appearance: 4/10
Taste: 2/10
Value: 3/10
Overall: 9/30

Iceland Foods Ltd
Iceland Foods Ltd