Written by The Human Dustbin and posted in Food, Iceland, Microwaveable Snacks

Iceland Meal for One Corned Beef HashBefore taking on this review, I had never tasted the dish known as ‘Corned Beef Hash’. I had tasted cold and lardy canned corned beef at my Grandparents house as a child in a sandwich, but that’s as far my Corned Beef experience went. I thought I’d better do some research before undertaking this challenge to try and ascertain how ‘real’ corned beef hash is made, the ingredients and how it looks. Some of the recipes available online range from the quite appetising, to what I can only describe as ‘dog food on a plate’. Looking at the later, I decided this was probably what the Iceland meal could compare with.

Iceland Meal for One Corned Beef Hash 'wavingOpening the box to reveal the goodness inside, it looked like cubed potatoes with a ladle of gloop splodged on top. After piercing the film lid ‘Psycho’ style, I nuked it for a full 12 minutes as per the manufacturers instructions, while making myself a cup of tea and checking out what was new on B3ta. After microwaving and peeling back the film, it looked exactly like the uncooked picture, just bubbling. I gave it a good sniff, only to find out that all I could smell was cooked onions, nothing else, just onions. This was not good. I was expecting ‘hash’. Remembering the serving suggestion on the box, I mixed it all together and slopped it on to a plate. It looked so appetising, I wish I had a sprig of parsley to nestle on the crest of hash mountain.

Iceland Meal for One Corned Beef Hash SlopSo what does it taste like? Imagine taking the diced outer tough layer of an old onion, microwaving it until its not quite soft and still chewy, then covering it with Bisto instant gravy, that you have added an extra tablespoon of corn flour to, to make it that bit more starchy. That’s what this tastes like. The beans and potato are completely overpowered by it. The Corned Beef only has a slight discernible flavour when you eat a bit on its own and then it’s more like chewy pastrami than traditional British Corned Beef. After a few spoonfuls, I gave up eating it. It’s not particularly unpleasant compared to some of the muck I’ve tried, but the onion taste was becoming overwhelming and I felt cheated out of my first Corned Beef Hash experience. I didn’t offer it to the cat after learning my lesson when it comes to onions, from the comments on the canned burgers review. I did however, grab some sparkling water from the fridge to get rid of the onion taste from my palate.

Ingredients: Water, Potato (30%), Corned Beef (12%), Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce (11%), Onions (9%), Gravy Powder, Tomato Puree.

Allergy Advice: Contains Gluten (no shit sherlock)

Appearance: 3/10
Taste: 4/10
Value: 3/10
Overall: 10/30

Iceland Foods Ltd
Iceland Foods Ltd

  • Dylan

    Yeah eh!I found it nearly impossible to roll it up into a Rizla,and far to wet to light.In the end I dryed it out in the oven,then put some in a bong.Stunk the house out,smelled terrible set the fire alarms off and everything,shant be buying that again thats for sure.

    • tahrey

      Inevitable, but still funny 😀
      An internets to you.

  • tourettes

    Thats why Mum’s shop @ Shitelands hehehehe…. The MP’s won’t be eating this concoction of shite !

  • sarah

    Yuck!,that looks like something that my cat once threw up!,love the site by the way,found the link by chance on the “Chav Towns” website(on which,my own bumhole of origin is listed!).Being a benefit minger I often have little choice but to consume things that have “Tesco Value” stamped on them,some aren’t too bad like the teabags or the tetra pack white wine,some though are abysmal,like the chicken nuggets and the lasagne ready meal.

    • tahrey

      They do tesco value tea now? I will have to sample it.

      I can tell you for a fact that their red boxed non-value ownbrand stuff is terrible. No flavour to it at all. You may as well tear up the box into confetti and try brewing that instead.

      Which means the tea may follow the same pattern as the crisps? Standard-grade ownbrand ones are quite cardboardy and tasteless … the value ones are in smaller, lighter bags, and are very oily and slightly overdone – but provide a far better flavour and “bag of crisps” experience, as well as being so much cheaper you can actually eat two bags for the price of one nasty pack of “Select”.

  • This site is very entertaining, and dismaying, and somewhat heartening: There is a belief that the U.S.A. is the only place that puts up with hideous garbage food like this. It is heartening to know that things like Cup-O-Noodles and microwaveable entrees exist in other lands.

    I’m puzzled and astonished as to why the hash requires 12 minutes to microwave. 12 minutes in my modest “nuker” would turn most anything into a coagulated mass that would be too tough for use as a doggy chew toy.

    • tahrey

      I think it’s because you’re effectively cooking the potato from raw and making mash of it? All the same, that amount of time would turn any intact raw potato I put in my microwave into a shrivelled husk of it’s original self…

      And, the USA, always so ready to take the mickey out of the poor diets Limeys are supposed to have, otherwise doesn’t believe that anywhere else can have truly terrible food like the stuff it’s unhealthier residents shovel into their gaping maws? Hmmm…!
      I think you’ll find that we could give you a masterclass in this stuff – back whilst MacDonalds was still a mom & pop kind of place serving proper hamburgers and proper fries with glass bottles of original recipe coca cola, our youths were being raised on bread & dripping (low grade beef fat) sandwiches, maybe with a couple of faggots (fat & offal meatballs), powdered eggs and mushy peas at the weekend if they were lucky…

      (My father’s poor cardiac and circulatory health can be at least partially attributed to this sort of thing, and developing an appreciation for it simply because it was the best food available…)

  • tahrey

    Jeez, Dusty … you should sue Iceland for damages or something over this. A well made corn beef hash is a thing of beauty amongst the pantheon of non-disgusting economy foods.

    Also pay no attention to whoever wrote that second recipe. People who put tomatoes … or tomato puree … or beans in tomato sauce (!) in/on their hash are dangerous freaks who care not for spoiling an otherwise classic dish. Properly softened fried onion is what you use, and accompany it with briefly-boiled carrots and cabbage (or sweetcorn, or peas, or whatever your cheap in-season traditional veg of the moment happens to be)

    Compared to some of the cheap stuff my mother stuck in front of our unsuspecting faces when younger, it’s one of the better ones. Up there with a properly put together chicken in white sauce with rice and veg, or a good beef and mushroom stroganoff (a rare treat, as it called for at least 30p’s worth of cream…)

    Oh, and I had a sneaking suspicion that a site like this could only be the fevered creation of an ardent b3tan ^_^

  • Chris Gagnon

    Greetings from America! What a travesty that product is! Real corned beef has only four ingredients; Corned Beef, potatoes, and Salt and Black Pepper to taste. I mostly make it from scratch, but occasionally buy the canned for a breakfast fry-up when I can’t be bothered. The best canned brand is Hormel, and you may be able to find it there in one of those American Ex-pat stores I hear you have. They also make an excellent roast beef hash as well. Refrigerate the can, cut both top and bottom off, remove one lid, and use the other to push against. Push out about 1 cm, and slice it off with a knife, using the can edge as a guide. Melt a little butter or somesuch in a pan, put your discs of hash in there, and let them brown. then flip it and press it down with a spatula to spread it out. When that side is browned, it is ready to serve. Or, you can just put the whole can in a pan, heat it up stirring it around, then crack a few eggs on it. Put a cover on there and reduce heat, it’s done when the eggs are poached. Serve with toast.

  • sarah

    My Mother used to make corn beef hash a few times a week when I was a kid. It would simply be mashed potato with Happy Shopper or Prince’s corned beef mixed in it with it, Bisto gravy, two Richmond’s pork sausages and Happy Shopper peas. I used to like it when I was a kid, but that was because I had never tried much else. When I left home my diet became mostly vegetarian and it’s safe to say that my Mother’s budget, working class, English cooking put me off of meat for life.

  • jeg elske vakker norge

    If you want to try a real hash which is a real poor pesons dish but very tasty you need an oven proof dish 1 large onion 2 big spuds 4 carrots an oxo stock cube, for our american friends beef stock, good well known brand or corned beef, salt and black pepper corns, 1st slice spuds and carrots thin sliced across. then slice the corned beef 2 times thicker. layer carrots in dish add corned beef add spud layer add salt pepper and repeat. when all is in the dish add stock to nearly fill. add a knob of butter to crisp the potatoe on the top. easy cheap and hearty meal, you can swipe up left over gravy with white bread, do not try this with sweet american bread.