Looking through the list of requests, this abomination stood out. The very thought of Burgers in gravy in a tin, made my guts turn. They had to be purchased and reviewed. The Westlers website proudly states that that their ‘ambient burgers’ have a 3 year shelf life, Mmmm. Mine are best before March 2013, so they should be at their peak of tasty goodness!
As soon as I pierced the can with a can opener, a rank meat smell hit my nostrils, leading me to blurt out ‘f*cking jesus’, while my partner laughed in dining room, claiming that I may have a second nemesis on my hands. After getting the can fully open, the smell was so disgusting that if I were not such an intrepid food explorer, these would have gone in the bin.
Pushing on, I drained off the onion gravy from the can into a Microwave dish. Finally you can see something solid (apart from congealed fat). Don’t these look appetising? Looking at this lump of matter, I reminded myself that Westlers state on the can that these are a ‘mums choice’. Apart from being the sort of liberal that gets slightly annoyed by this casual sexism, if a mother was indeed feeding her family with this muck, I’d call social services.
These burgers can be simmered on the hob, but I chose to Microwave them as per the manufacturers instructions. This is what they looked like. I was a little concerned by the colour difference in the two meat based discs, but chose the right hand, paler one. The picture does not really show up the small blobs of translucent fat floating on top of the gravy.
Taking my serving suggestion from the manufacturer for a snack, I put the paler ‘burger’ in a white roll and spooned over some of the lovely fatty onion gravy. I wasn’t drooling in anticipation but preparing to test my gag reflex. So what to they taste like? In one word… vile. The burger had the consistency of a sponge. It didn’t taste like anything meat based I’ve tasted before, it certainly do not taste like a burger. If you tasted one blindfolded, you would not say it was meat based at all, it’s that vague. This maybe down to the canning process, the onion gravy or the lashings of Monosodium Glutamate, but after two bites, I could not eat any more.
I do not like wasting food, so I cut up the remains and put them down for our cats. The can of Westlers burgers is roughly the same price of 3 pouches of cat food. Waste not, want not. None of them touched it. I think that speaks volumes.
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