Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets, the poster product for processed-to-death food

Chicken nuggets, perhaps the poster product for crap food. From Jamie’s Turkey Twislers to a Judge in a 2002 lawsuit against McDonalds describing them as a ‘Frankenfood’, some people may allege that they are the epitome of industrial ‘food’ production, which the executives of the producers and retailers would absolutely not eat themselves, but are quite happy for the poor huddled masses to eat to make a quick quid. I feel better for that! Ranting aside, I thought I’d try the lowest of the low (when it comes to price that is), namely Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets.

Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets, unwrappedDescribed on the packet as ‘Chopped and shaped chicken with textured wheat protein and added water in a crispy breadcrumb coating’, they contain just 27% chicken. If this chicken has been mechanically recovered is not clear, but I’ll let you look at the product and decide for yourself what ‘chopped and shaped’ means. The picture is of the uncooked nuggets. After cooking them in the middle shelf of the oven as per manufacturers instructions, they looked browner and the breadcrumb coating looked more like a Hobnob biscuit. Getting them out of the oven, they had no discernable smell of chicken whatsoever.

Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets, first biteAfter letting them cool for a couple of minutes and with no regard to my own personal safety, it was time to taste one. A took a bite out of one and took a photograph, so you could see the inner nugget. The coating had a good crunch, but absolutely no taste. The chicken, if you can indeed call it that, is surrounded by a fatty slime that you can see in the photo, which makes for an interesting and unexpected texture in a nugget. Though to be fair, this is the first nugget I’ve ever tasted, so if the others available come complete with slime, I can only speculate. The ‘chopped and shaped chicken’ as Tesco would describe it or a disc of mashed up chicken and fat, as I would describe it, has a vague taste of the brown meat you get on a roast chicken. Combined with the slime, it’s quite an unpleasant texture and taste, when any discernable taste does hit you.

Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets, dunked in sugary sauceI then had a brainwave. Perhaps they tasted awful because they lacked an essential condiment. ‘No one in the real world eats these without ketchup’ I thought. I had recently purchased a half a kilo bottle of Tesco Value Tomato Ketchup for 22p for a forthcoming blog entry. The sugar laden ketchup did nothing to make them taste any better, but I’m sure it would take away the foul taste for anyone with a still developing taste buds. As a final thought in a Jerry sort of way, I’ve been as poor as a church mouse at times in my life, especially when I was a mature student. However, there is no way on earth I would feed these to anyone, let alone my own children. As for Tesco, with the amount of profit they make, they should be ashamed to sell this disgusting product, which in my view is not fit for human consumption. Our cats didn’t eat them either!

Appearance: 2/10
Taste: 2/10
Value: 2/10
Overall: 6/30

Tesco Stores Ltd
Tesco Stores Ltd