Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets review
Written by The Human Dustbin and posted in Food, Frozen

Chicken nuggets, perhaps the poster product for crap food. From Jamie’s Turkey Twislers to a Judge in a 2002 lawsuit against McDonalds describing them as a ‘Frankenfood’, some people may allege that they are the epitome of industrial ‘food’ production, which the executives of the producers and retailers would absolutely not eat themselves, but are quite happy for the poor huddled masses to eat to make a quick quid. I feel better for that! Ranting aside, I thought I’d try the lowest of the low (when it comes to price that is), namely Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets.

Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets, unwrappedDescribed on the packet as ‘Chopped and shaped chicken with textured wheat protein and added water in a crispy breadcrumb coating’, they contain just 27% chicken. If this chicken has been mechanically recovered is not clear, but I’ll let you look at the product and decide for yourself what ‘chopped and shaped’ means. The picture is of the uncooked nuggets. After cooking them in the middle shelf of the oven as per manufacturers instructions, they looked browner and the breadcrumb coating looked more like a Hobnob biscuit. Getting them out of the oven, they had no discernable smell of chicken whatsoever.

Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets, first biteAfter letting them cool for a couple of minutes and with no regard to my own personal safety, it was time to taste one. A took a bite out of one and took a photograph, so you could see the inner nugget. The coating had a good crunch, but absolutely no taste. The chicken, if you can indeed call it that, is surrounded by a fatty slime that you can see in the photo, which makes for an interesting and unexpected texture in a nugget. Though to be fair, this is the first nugget I’ve ever tasted, so if the others available come complete with slime, I can only speculate. The ‘chopped and shaped chicken’ as Tesco would describe it or a disc of mashed up chicken and fat, as I would describe it, has a vague taste of the brown meat you get on a roast chicken. Combined with the slime, it’s quite an unpleasant texture and taste, when any discernable taste does hit you.

Tesco Value Chicken Nuggets, dunked in sugary sauceI then had a brainwave. Perhaps they tasted awful because they lacked an essential condiment. ‘No one in the real world eats these without ketchup’ I thought. I had recently purchased a half a kilo bottle of Tesco Value Tomato Ketchup for 22p for a forthcoming blog entry. The sugar laden ketchup did nothing to make them taste any better, but I’m sure it would take away the foul taste for anyone with a still developing taste buds. As a final thought in a Jerry sort of way, I’ve been as poor as a church mouse at times in my life, especially when I was a mature student. However, there is no way on earth I would feed these to anyone, let alone my own children. As for Tesco, with the amount of profit they make, they should be ashamed to sell this disgusting product, which in my view is not fit for human consumption. Our cats didn’t eat them either!

Appearance: 2/10
Taste: 2/10
Value: 2/10
Overall: 6/30

Tesco Stores Ltd
Tesco Stores Ltd
  • Chris Henniker

    I wouldn’t eat them either, neither would your cats. Cats are gourmets and discriminating about what they eat, good for them!

  • Christopher

    I’m not sure they make a ‘quick quid’. The price being only 75p.. minus the cost of sales.. minus the cost of staff/other expenses.. Tesco profit for the 12 months to Feb 2011 was 3,800,000,000. Arguably people eat too much and have a quantity obsession.. Perhaps it would be best to have fewer nuggets and higher meat content.. Ultimately the meat that goes into these products has to be used (within a set time period) or discarded. If people wish to purchase products of such low quality – they should be free to do so. I would prefer to rear chickens in the garden.

    • trousersnake

      Christopher darling, likewise I would much prefer to rear chickens in the garden, or leastways, I would have James the Gardener rear the chickens. ‘Cook’ can then slaughter the birds and transform them into interesting canape’s – perhaps indeed with a golden brioche coating.

      Tesco’s profit is of course a godsend, I cannot imagine how ones investment portfolio would perform otherwise.

      Time for a Pimms….

  • According to my own analysis, millions of persons all over the world receive the loan from well known creditors. Therefore, there is a good possibility to receive a short term loan in any country.

    • battered Codpeice

      realy?how uninteresting.

  • Jamie

    It’s actually really sad that there are adults that are stupid enough/don’t care enough that they give these to their children.

    • battered Codpeice

      yeah I no what you mean.
      Anyway I can get over six hundred a thirteen nuggets up my bottom,pretty good ay?must be a a claim the the Guiness book of recoards there ay dont you think?
      I only started doing this when I got board one day working for the packaging company that packets them up,dont worry Ive a clean bottom,I make sure I have a good old dump first,after all got to be carefull with health and safety.

      • battered Codpeice

        sorry about the two “the”and the double “a”thats just a side effects of pushing nuggets up up there we go again,my bottom.
        Dont do it children Im a proffesional.

  • John

    I actually really like this site. You should keep it up. You should look at those Tesco own-brand beers. I’ve always been intrigued…

  • Raynard

    Eat these for an early grave, artery clogging muck that’s not fit for pig swill.

  • sarah

    I’ve had these a couple of times,as a cheap stomach-filler,both packs had a “giant nuggett” where-I’m guessing-the machine at the factory went a bit crackers and squashed about twenty of them together.

  • tahrey

    There’s a certain well known meaty snack brand who do a dairylea dunkers type snack pack nowadays, but it turns out (after buying a 3-pack that was – surprise surprise – reduced to clear) this translates to a compartment with only 7 or 8 quite small (carrot stick sized) reformed meat sponge things, and a surprisingly big compartment of ketchup, far, far more than you’d reasonably expect that much meat sponge to need.

    Given the stuff’s sheer tastelessness and the evidence presented here, I think I can now guess why. You’re SUPPOSED to completely drown them with enough ketchup to utterly mask their inherent (not completely unpleasant…) flavour, to the point where you may as well be eating ketchup-flavoured quorn. Bizzarre.

    I can’t recommend them for here in good faith though, because even at the reduced price they seemed a bit of a rip-off for the tiny amount you get.

  • jeg elske vakker norge

    Come on, they call them nuggets to make them sound classy, would you eat them if it said chicken balls on the pack?, or thou it would be more honest, I have never tryed chicken nuggets because I once had to fix the ‘slury machine’ no joke thats what they call it, and for some reason ive never had the urge for tasty treat?.
    hang on sweet and sour chicken from my local chinesse has balls of battered chicken breast and its real meat.

  • david kinzler

    Hmm. We have these on the other side of the aisle. Different store brands for sure, but they’re bound to be about the same. Really, this is hardcore poverty/lifestyle food as opposed to student pennypincher food. Can tell just buy whose carts it shows up in (not many). There’s many tiers, with the lowest being off-brand/store brand, a meat packing brand picking up the lower-working class center, and a premium with real spicing picking up the middle-class demographic. Having had all, the Premium (Perdue) is actually nice for super-quick cooking, the mass-market (Tyson) is okay for feeding kids in small portions or using as a greasy, cheap tapas, and the store sub-brand (Guaranteed Value) isn’t fit for human consumption. How could it be? The brand sells consists of little more than this, potted luncheon meat, potted peas, potted pork and beans, plus odd paper goods. Expecting anything more than edibility would be daft. Strangely, the GV ones *are* mostly made of (mechanically separated) chicken, with no animal fillers and comforting soy making up the rest. Depressing and soulless, but edible. There’s far, far, far worse atrocities (we’ve got potted pig’s brains) Yours for a plane trip plus $3.99 for 40 oz (so, 2.5 pounds for 2.5 kilos?)